In remembrance of 2012

Good riddance, I thought to myself as I close my eyes to the embrace of the welcoming slumber. Uneventfully and unenthusiastically, the year drew to a close with a soft thud like the back cover of a hard copy book.

I never had a thing for occassions; I prefer to think of time as a continuous stream, ticking in this continuous mechanical fashion. Mind you, time does not actually tick, but the human imagination of one, gives a comforting rendition to something that is elusively shapeless. Years are but arbitrary boundaries. Perhaps as a mechanism in which us invented to allow us to forgive and forget. To put closure onto things. To move on.

To move on. I woke up the next morning, somewhat dismayed to find that nothing has really changed. Made my coffee, and did the usual morning routine. January first sounds colder than it could ever be, and the freshness mixed with some rawness of the brutal realization that dates have to be filled in with 2013 now, a seemingly alien number that no doubt I’ll get used to in, say, half a year. And with the awe that the world didn’t really end, not that I really want it to, nor could I say that I do not secretly wish it to.

Twenty twelve was one of those odd years. If I were to choose a word to describe it, it would be that the year simply existed. For all intents and purposes, it simply means that things happened, and they resolved, or not. There was no higher purpose - there were goals of course, and some met and some not - but there was no theme to it, unlike one of those Star Wars movies in which someone returns, and something took revenge.

It is an odd feeling for sure, a large contrast from the formative years of my life in which every year clearly demarcated and made me feel as if I have grown, or more accurately, levelled up is the right terminology. There is a tangible and really fungible, result sheet, with remarks on them that I have largely forgotten, celebrating the fact that I have yet passed another obstacle in life. That ritual, largely vanishes once you step outside of the well defined system called education.

For me, 2012 was almost like a second coming of age. It was bizarrely quiet, compared to the year before in school. I started to settle into my new job, and one that feels like a real job. That does not mean that previous jobs were any less good, just that it feels like a real job in the sense that it brings with it the looming overhead of a large organization, as well as that uncanny ability for it to make me feel insignificant, in both the good and bad sort of way.

It was also the year where I converted thought into do. A change in the frame of mind, hopefully, for the better.

Either way, I’m somewhat glad that the year is over. Despite all it’s shortcomings, it’s good to have a pretense of fresh start. Make new year resolutions in which will never ever get done. And the last item on the list, to finally do my new year resolutions this year. Finally.

With a proverbial toast, I termed 2013 the year of improvement. This would be the year in which I make incremental but important improvements in various aspects of my life. There are certain things that were neglected during the past 2 years where I introduced large scale changes into my life - my health for one - that I need to start taking good care of, and other matters such as knowlege that requires a step or two of horizontal expansion. If I could tick half of the items in the list at the same time this year, then I would have exited the year a better man.